I like to think of a time, long ago, when I was truly happy.
Will I ever be again?
I hope so, I pray it will be so, but I don’t know.
I just know I am still raw from the pain of being abused, and sexually assaulted by my husband and his friend.
This all started not long after we were married, and I was isolated from talking to many people. He would tell me never to tell anyone, because it was my fault and it is something that was the right of a husband to do. He had me convinced of that, in a way, because I feared him so much, and it happened so often. People just loved him, and were charmed by him, so I was convinced no one would care what he was doing to me anyway.
I thought I deserved what I got………………….because he told me so.
I did feel dirty, and disgusting, because that was my way of life of how he treated me, and as though I was nothing. That I was never good enough, or never enough period.