They say that abusers are “creatures of habit” and the abuse is second nature to them. I agree, as abusers are well versed as is the system in thinking abuse is “normal.” As a victim/survivor, I have learned that those in power exchange favors, no matter if they are an abuser. My friend was also married to an abuser, although I didn’t know that for a long time. We didn’t know that about each other and what each went through. It is so sad how we keep secrets like abuse, because of our embarrassment. I had beatings on a daily basis for little things he got upset over. He was constantly mad at me. I once was handcuffed to a shopping cart so I couldn’t get away from my abuser, and he covered the cuffs and my hands with a scarf and no one even noticed. I have escaped thankfully but am in hiding---- because when I reported to the Bolingbrook PD on an open chance I had when he wasn’t around ----they sent me away and laughed. They said it wasn’t their problem. That was a tiny and rare opportunity I had to report and was treated in such a bad and dismissive way. I was able to get away during a brief time he wasn’t there, and I ran as fast as possible. I only took one bag, but have no idea where I am going next. It is very scary. No one in the system cares at all. It is sad. How many women have to actually die for people to care?! I want a future filled with something happy and better.
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