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My Abuser and My Mother

Writer's picture: Will County Take Back the NightWill County Take Back the Night

I am a survivor.   My mother, who was abusive herself, in a bully kind of way towards me, who allowed her sister to bully her throughout her life, didn’t care the abuse I went through.  She said that I just had to deal with it.  She didn’t care what happened to me.  She taught my aunt and sisters to bully me as well, which was how it was, so it was not surprising that I married an abuser.  Unfortunately, I received no support when I escaped from my abuser, and told it was my fault and pushed aside. I almost lost my baby, and told it was my fault.  Victim blaming is very much part of my experience.  Narcissism in families can lead to marrying into an abusive family as has been my case.  I went through physical, emotional, financial abuse throughout my marriage and abuse in many forms continues to this day. The system fails women who have survived domestic violence, especially in Will County and Bolingbrook, Illinois, where women are treated like pieces of thrown away garbage. The judge laughed and said to just move on, and not be a “cry-baby.”  I cannot express how grateful I am to be alive, but filled with anxiety many times, because of what I still have to endure through victim/survivor shaming.   I am a survivor of the shameful Will County Court system of In Justice for Domestic Violence Victims/Survivors.



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