I was sexually assaulted, several years ago by my now husband’s best friend-before we were married. I did tell my husband (boyfriend at the time), but he said to just forget about it and drop it because he values his friendship. After we were married, several years ago, I saw a very strange turn in my husband’s behavior, and didn’t know why. Maybe that behavior was there before we got married, but maybe I didn’t want to see it. Maybe he believed I deserved to be assaulted, and maybe that is why he started hitting and punching me. It happened just this morning again, after I fed our first baby, who is 6 months old. This has been happening more frequently now. I am scared. I just looked at the baby as I was crying…after he stormed off, and am at an even bigger loss for what to do. It sinks my mind to sadness. He made me quit my job once I had the baby. I have had black eyes, but he has told people that I fall over and cause it myself and blames me for not being a good housekeeper. Awhile back, after his hitting me and pushing me down, one day, with the baby in my arms, he left and I walked to my mom’s, even though it was quite a walk away to get there with the baby. She is from the “old school” that there are no such problems as domestic violence and sexual assault. Don’t I wish there wasn’t. She told me to “suck it up” and go back and take care of my marriage and make him happy. Is this my fault?!!I cried all the way home after she said that. I thought I would receive empathy from her, but I did not. I have also heard and read that our local system doesn’t help victims, but makes it worse. I live in the Channahon/Minooka/Shorewood/Joliet area, and don’t know what steps I need to take nor if I dare try to leave. Will he kill me? I read in the news that another woman was stabbed to death this past week and there is no uproar. I wanted to share my story after I received a visit from a friend while my husband was at work (who knows about my situation after I shared with her recently) ----who told me about your take back the night event. How do women escape when they don’t think the system will protect them as it has failed to protect many???! Maybe by sharing a piece of my story, it will help me take this next step for me and my child.
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