Going through all of the abuse over the years, and getting the courage and strength to finally leave, afterwards, I would tend to “grasp” for the little items that were so sentimental, and even other small material things, that had no value, other than that they were something that he hadn’t taken from me. I would tend to try to keep every piece of paper with a kind word on it, and anything that someone would give to me, because those things were my “treasures” that I appreciated from others, while he continued to verbally and emotionally abuse me, after I left.
The abuse was so severe, and the injustice by the court system in this community and their failure to protect me as well as others, was very clear and so disturbing, that the “things” I was given by other kind people, was a “blanket of kindness” to me, which was all I had to feel valued. I am sure that seems silly to most, but for me, it was something that got me through each day, especially when our Will County court officials, made me feel like I wasn’t worth anything.
I don’t think that these officials, lawyers, etc., even care that their actions, bad behaviors, etc., all for money and power, further break an abused woman down, during the lowest point of their life. They obviously have no conscience, and only think of how they will profit.
To me, just having another day, and having peace is most important. To be able to be kind to someone else, is most important. Not anything material. Kindness is what matters.
I hope anyone reading this, remembers……….. that anyone a survivor of domestic violence encounters, especially after they leave and seek help, will either negatively or positively affect the survivor’s recovery/healing. Our Will County community and its leaders, especially the court officials, need to remember that.