Maybe I will live to see another birthday, but everyday is a risk to stay in this house with an abusive man that I married, even though I never saw this side of him, at least I don’t think I did, before we got married.
Some moments, after being hit, and he has left, I close my eyes and pretend this is not really my life…..that I didn’t really marry a person like this…and this must be a horrible nightmare. I live in this nightmare with my two kiddos. Their lives are more important to me than anything.
This morning, I took the bus, to the courthouse with a friend, with my two babies, and as she watched them, as I walked into the courthouse by myself in Will County, I had to try to stop shaking, as I had to file a restraining order.
I was crying, as I explained my situation, to the clerks, and asked to get help of how to file. They weren’t very helpful. They suggested a lawyer, but I have no money of my own. Sad that the dirty looks that a woman gets in the courthouse, when they are shaking, crying and asking for help.
I am sad to say that when I finally got into the courtroom, my petition was denied, & I was in shock. It is quite clear that victims of domestic violence are pushed aside. Sad that this county fails women who have suffered through domestic violence/abuse like me.
Back to the house. Back to the abuse, until I can get the three of us out safely.