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What if?!

Sometimes I wonder, What if I hadn’t married such an abusive man, what would I be doing? Would I be happily married to an actual nice and caring man?! I wish. I ask myself, how could I have been so fooled by him.


I often think about this when he is slapping me across the face, and throwing me against the wall. I know I cannot change what path I chose in the past, not knowing what lay before me, after the “honeymoon phase” past not long after we returned from our actual honeymoon. I know that I am not the only one who is “fooled” like this, by a manipulative man, only showing their “charming side” until they have you where they want you. Now, I just have to decide what to do while I am now pregnant and have seen that he is not going to change. I am alone….I am scared to death. I don’t want to live like this anymore….not one day more. Who is there to listen? To help victims? I had called the local police (Bolingbrook) once, and they just laughed at me. Didn’t care at all. Didn’t do anything.


I am here….just me and my baby inside of me, calling out for help, and no one listens.